Recently I had the opportunity to spend almost two weeks at a women’s retreat. A home specifically for women who need a little respite. A place to put our feet up, be waited on and do as we please at our leisure, not having to worry about anyone else but ourselves and our own self care.
It’s such an interesting concept to throw a bunch of women, who are strangers to one another, into a home that's not theirs with which they are not to lift a finger other than to perhaps, hand wash their delicates. The only set thing in the day are the meal times. Of which you can choose to participate in or not. It’s almost like living in a hostel for all you travellers out there that know what I’m talking about. But much cleaner and more respectful.
And let’s face it, women can be assholes. We are often a hard bunch to mix and match. But for whatever reason, this place just works. Perhaps it’s because we are ultimately all here for the same reason. We may come from all walks of life and from backgrounds unknown, but our challenges all seem to be the same. And our personal missions and goals are more similar than maybe we even care to admit.
From a very young age, men are told to be strong, to be tough, and not to cry. And we are learning more and more about how these conceptions have been a lending hand for men when it comes to struggles with mental health. Because they are told to keep quiet and if they have any issues to just deal with them on their own. And in doing so, they have learned, very extensively, to internalise.
Whereas with us women, we are known to show our affections. To be more open with our words and emotions behind them. However that leads us to a life of also just dealing with things, the best way we know how. Which can also often lead to issues with mental health and falling into the darkness. We tend to become the, “mother, the cop, the care taker”, but in doing so we loose, ”the daughter, the friend, the wife.” And we take on the role of, “who am I?”
We all, in some way or another, need to learn how to be kind to ourselves. To take the time to show ourselves the type of kindness we show and do for others. WE forget that in order to be the greatest version of ourselves for the benefit of others, we need to firstly do that for us, for the benefit of ourselves. It seems as though we need to dig deeper to allow self love to be the forefront of our lives.
Our minds thoughts become blurred lines. And those blurred lines then become poor habits. And before we know it, we are drowning in some pool of sorrow, be it shallow or deep. That all depends on how far we let ourselves fall and how far down “our” bottom really is. Being mindful and present seem like a chore or perhaps even work. You hear yourself saying, “I don't have time for that!” All those small things you used to find such joy in when you were a younger version of yourself, seem so distant, that you have almost allowed yourself to loose those memories.
Which leads us to forget that those memories and moments, were the channels used to create who we have become today. At our deepest of deep and our core of cores, our soul is still our internal compass. Why is it that we let that become so lost in time. We often forget how to read our own, “north south east west”. Is it the fear that we will let others down? Is it because we will feel bad or hold incredibly heavy guilt for staying true to our own beliefs and the systems behind them? Is it a shield that we hide behind, because at the surface of it, we really have no clue what we want to do with or for ourselves because we have managed to let any sense of self wants and needs, slip from our fingertips.
In any rate, we as women are such amazing creatures. WE have the strength and determination to over come even our own worst nightmares. We can find the deep when at times it seems we are already at the deepest we can go. There is such a strong endurance in us that surpasses even our beliefs. Where does that come from? Is it just inbred in our genetics? It can’t be, because I can tell you, that being part of this amazing blessing and gift of coming to this retreat, has proven, that ladies, from all different walks of life, all share the same story.
Sure we are all on our own journeys and for different reasons, but it all circles back around to the same thing. We are superwomen, in our own rights. WE all shed tears, feel pain, experience frustration and exhaustion. We have all come here feeling like we are clawing our way up the steepest of mountains. We have come here, maybe not so much for answers, but quite simply, clarity. And the break from everyday life, that doesn't allow for clarity to shine as brightly as it should.
We know that we deserve this time to ourselves. To remove ourselves - PERIOD. And in this time, on these paths, they have all managed to come together to form one amazing road. The road back to our lives that mean so much, to our husbands, partners, families and friends. To work or not to work. It’s up to us, to think about what we have learned and remember just how amazing we are as individuals and what we bring to our own lives.
To remind ourselves that we may be resilient, we may be strong, but we are human, and we come first. Because if we don’t, our world won’t crash around us, our loved ones will still love us, work will continue on without us, but if we loose who we are, what are WE left with???
So in the closing days of this amazing self journey we have all been on, we can all sit here knowing that we are in one way or another, triumphant in the glory of which we are plain and simply- AMAZING WOMEN!!! And this has been a pause in time that has helped to lead us to the victory of our own presence in this phenomenal thing we call life!
Thank you!
